Our Thoughts on Week 2.

So by now, you all know that yours and our very own Orlando City SC are sitting at the top of the East along with the dastardly evil NCCPYFC interlopers.

This was of course not earned easily but came at the expense of the dignity of forward Pedro Ribeiro who was mauled by Houston keeper Tyler Deric who doesn’t seem to understand that as keepers, we aren’t looking to beat forwards in putting the ball in the net. Before we knew it, we had a Match.com commercial in the Dynamo’s goal. Talk about scoring.

Come on, now, is it really better to have an own goal on your sheet than letting the other team get the goal they earned? Apparently so.

Then there was UNIMAS on Brighthouse not deigning to allow English speakers to hear the broadcast in their native language. As much as we love to hear GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL as much as the next blog, we prefer to at least hear it from someone speaking English as it was PROMISED to us by MLS numerous times. SAP can apparently have more than one meaning.

If you’re going to promise something, don’t leave us dealing with an exploding phone with tweets and texts providing the golden soundtrack to the silence and fury signifying the need to access the game on the UNIMAS website. This would be fine if we weren’t sitting a couch looking at a television.

That free kick by Kaká was sick sick sick and again, Tyler Deric had to go and mess it up by blocking it. Make up your mind, dudebro. In or out. Pick one and stick with it. But for reals, that goal goes in 9 times out of 10.

Our Fantasy Infallibility That’s Fallible
We have Rochez and Dwyer as our forwards and got exactly nothing from these guys. Rochez is apparently not fit, whatever that means so he isn’t playing. Of course as we cover the team, we are only to blame since we knew he wasn’t flying the to the Big Orange. Somehow The Dom blew a penalty kick. We’re getting too old for this. FIRE ALL THE FORWARDS AND GET NEW ONES. That is our mission for Monday at 9am EDT.

And MLS, let’s get some security so Kaka doesn’t have to get selfied by a moron on the field. Please?

Is it a rule that NCCFYCNY gets to go 11 on 10 every game? And 43507? Try 62510. Good job, Third Fail.

Sweet Move:
Kaká’s run a the 65th minute when David Horst came sliding in and got nothing but a great seat to watch Awesome fly right by on the way to the goal. One of these games, we are going to see it finished.

The Suck, It Burns:
Portland giving up a header off a corner in the 92nd minute to the LA Fabulous after going ahead on goal at the 90th minute. Gut-wrenching.

Best Color Combination of the Week:
Purple and Orange.

Oh and shut up, Taylor Twellman.